How the Mithos stole Christmas
by Birth of Venus
Summary: In a desperate attempt to rule the world, Mithos tries to conquer Christmas! From malls to the North pole, will he succeed! Or will he be killed by killer candy canes? Read and find out!
1. Chapter 1

BoV- Okay, I'm writing this because I felt that I needed to put up my own ToS Christmas fic up. I got this idea when watching a commercial for an Invader Zim Christmas episode.

Mithos- Yay! Ultimate takeover!

BoV- Shut it. Anyway, this is going to be composed of only a few chapters, but I plan on making the best out of them! Mwahahahahaha… Now, for the disclaimer. KRATOS!

Kratos- Why me?

BoV- because if you don't, I'll be forced to make you wear a Christmas elf uniform.

Kratos- Curse you. Birth of Venus doesn't own Tales of Symphonia… Or Christmas.

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**Chapter 1. Mithos' Evil Plan**

Deep in the very, very, evil Tower of Salvation… Where very, very, evil people lurked… In a very, very, evil throne room where a very, very, evil dictator sat brooding. This dictator was none other than Yggdrasiel! King of the desians and spandex! But at the moment he was not pleased. All because his little plan for an age of lifeless beings was constantly thwarted by Lloyd Irving and his band of brainless monkeys. "It's not faiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir!" he whined pathetically. "Why can't I ever get my way!" Kratos, who was sitting right next to him twitched his eyebrow in annoyance. "Please, Mithos. You know how much I cannot stand childish whining." Mithos glared at him. "But, whatever I do, nothing seems to go right! Those inferior beings keep messing up my ingenious plans to rule the world!" Kratos sighed. "You already told me this about twenty times. I get it already."

While these two were the opposite from happy, the same could not be said for Yuan. He was skipping around happily putting up wreathes and Christmas decorations. He replaced his normally black cloak with a more festive red and green one. And to top it all off, he had a santa hat placed snugly on his head. He hummed the tune to Jingle Bells happily while stringing lights all around Mithos' throne. Kratos gave a cold glare at his blue-haired companion. "Is all this really necessary?" Yuan beamed at him. "Aw, lighten up, Kratty-chan! It's almost Christmas! The holiday of joy and cheer, of spending time with your friends and family, but most important of all, getting kick-ass presents that you wouldn't normally receive!"

"Kratty-chan?" Kratos questioned his nickname with another eyebrow twitch. Yuan nodded. "Yeah! We all have to be good to each other on Christmas!" And then, much to the red-head's horror, Yuan gave him a big hug and then shoved a candy cane in his mouth. Kratos gagged on the sudden minty freshness that was now lodged in his throat until he managed to cough it out and gave Yuan a long cold glare. "What I don't understand is that Christmas, a holiday made from Christianity is being celebrated here, when the only religion in these two worlds is Martellism or whatever it's called." Kratos said searching for some water to rinse out the evil Candy cane aftertaste. Yuan smirked. "That's because of a little thing called commercialism my friend. It's so wrapped around our economy, the original meaning for Christmas as been lost and replaced by a fat man in a red suit." Kratos ran a hand through his hair. "Indeed. It seems that commercialism has dominated this world."

Mithos suddenly stopped his sulking at the sound of the words "world" and "domination". "Commercialism has dominated this world you say?" Mithos asked. Kratos nodded slowly not liking the scary look that was forming on the crazy half-elf's face. "And Christmas is the ultimate form of commercialism, right?" He asked an evil smile forming on his lips. "Yep!" Yuan chirped. "Isn't it great? Merry Christmas!" He then started to skip around again tossing tinsel and candy canes in the air.

"Ah… My brain hatched an evil idea." Mithos said giggling manically. Kratos backed away. He knew that one of Mithos' evil ideas never led to anything good. "That's it! I shall take over Christmas! Thus, taking over the world! MWAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mithos brought out his Cruxis wings to add to the "OMG, I'm so freaking evil right now" affect. Kratos shook his head. "And how do you plan to do that? There are so many forms of Christmas commercialism, there's no way to dominate them all." Mithos sat down in his throne pondering for a minute and then hit a buzzer. "Pronyma! Get your ugly butt in here NOW!" Five seconds later, Pronyma, leader of the five Desian Grand Cardinals, whose giant ring thingy was now covered in red and green lights and had ornaments hanging from them (courtesy of Yuan). "You called, my lord?" she said in her weird drawlish voice. "Yes, give me the latest Christmas related news!" Mithos commanded.

"Uh, hold on a second…" Pronyma pulled out a newspaper and flipped through it. "Oh, uh, here's something: Come meet the one and only Santa Claus! All you good boys and girls can come sit on his lap at the Flanoir mall tomorrow from 10:00 to 2:00."

"That's it! I shall take on the role as the supreme ruler Santa and force those children to become my minions! To the mall!"

"Uh, Mithos," Kratos began but Mithos had already flown out. Kratos shook his head and sighed. "Ugh, Yuan, you just HAD to give him weird ideas, didn't you?" But Yuan paid no attention as he was hanging tinsel on the Great seed.

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BoV- Ah, the first part is complete! I'm sorry its short, but I'll update as soon as I can! Until then, REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2

BoV- Yay, I update! Since Christmas is so near, I'm going to be updating more often then usual, so its something you can look forward to. Now, let us see Mithos' first attempt to take over Christmas!

Kratos-… This is gonna get messy.

Mithos- Mwahahahaha… Me evil!

BoV- ooook, then. So, someone do the disclaimers.

Raine- I will! Birth of Venus does not own Tales of Symphonia or Christmas, so she should stop thinking illogically like she does, and awaken to the harsh lessons of reality lest she forever be a brainless monkey.

BoV- You always have to say things the cold way, don't you?

Raine- Yes.

BoV- Meanie. Anyway, enjoy!

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**Chapter 2: Mall Takeover!**

With Mithos' super spandex/cruxis powers, it took him mere seconds to reach the Flanior mall. He entered with a huge burst of show-offy-ness and strode to where the mall workers were busy building a Santa's Workshop for the mob of snot-nosed kids the next day. Over to the side, a fat dude was complaining about how the extra large Santa outfit was to small for him. Mithos walked over to the guy. "Excuse me, mister… Are you the man impersonating Santa?" The man looked down at him. "Uh, yeah, I am. Sorry kid, you're going to come back tomorrow." Mithos however ignored him and brought out his cruxis wings. "Prepare to die." Before the guy could even give out a scream of terror Mithos let out a Judgment attack and instantly killed the guy and destroyed half the cardboard house. All the mall workers stared in fear at the insane angel.

Mithos turned to them. "From this point on, this project is under MY control! Now get to work, filthy inferior beings!" And so, Mithos' reign of jolly Christmas terror has begun.

_The Next Morning…_

Kratos sighed as he was flying over to Flanior. An angel had come and told him the Mithos wanted him to come over for something. But the thing that scared Kratos was the angel messenger was wearing a stupid Christmas elf uniform with a red and white striped shirt, hideous green overalls, knee socks, and a pointy elf hat. That proved to show that what Mithos had in store for him wasn't good. Speaking of stores, Kratos looked down and saw the Flanoir mall below him. But it seemed… Darker, for some reason. "Mithos, what have you done now, you psycho?"

As he landed and entered the mall, he saw what Mithos had been doing all last night. What seemed like a huge castle of evilness loomed over in the distance and a bunch of angels in those idiotic Christmas Elf uniforms were flying around with candy cane spears. On top of it all was a gigantic throne and the one sitting in it was none other then Mithos in a Santa suit and a fake beard. Kratos stood there dumbstruck until he heard Mithos call out to him. "Ah, Kratos! Perfect timing!"

Kratos looked over at Mithos angrily. "What in Martel's name have you done?" Mithos' face contorted in anger. "DON'T USE MY SISTER'S NAME IN VANE! And, if you must know, I have gained control over this mall." Kratos raised an eyebrow. "And what do you hope to accomplish through this?"

"What else?" Mithos asked crossing his arms. "Take over Christmas." Kratos gave an exasperated sigh. "Mithos, all you did was take over a mall. Not Christmas. There are many other malls that do this sort of thing, and besides, this is just insane. "

"SILENCE! I won't have anyone get in my way! Now get in uniform, Kratos! My victims will be arriving soon!" He threw a dorkish Christmas elf uniform at Kratos. He looked at it for a second before throwing it in the trash. "I refuse. I'll not be caught wearing anything this ridiculous for as long as I live."

"But wwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyy?" Mithos whined. "Because it's nerdy and dorky swirled together into a geek sundae with a big helping of stupidity on top." Kratos said folding his arms. "Hmf. Fine then, meanie." Mithos pouted. Just then, a bunch of little kids came running in. "WE WANNA MEET SANTA! WE WANNA MEET SANTA!" They chorused in unison. "Excellent…" Mithos said giggling manically. "The future lifeless beings are here. Angels! Begin!" All the angels swarmed down as evil music began to play in the backround. And then, to Kratos' horror, the angels began to sing.

_Bow down, _

_Bow down, _

_Before the power of Santa!_

_Or be crushed, _

_Be crushed, _

_Byyyyyyyyyyy…_

_HIS JOLLY BOOTS OF DOOM! _

The angels then began to start a marching formation while Mithos was blowing kisses to everyone… Creepy, no?

_Bow down, _

_Bow down,_

_Before the power of Santa!_

_Or be crushed, _

_Be crushed, _

_Byyyyyyyyyyy…_

_HIS JOLLY BOOTS OF DOOM!_

As the angels finished their EXTREMELY frightening song, everyone just stood there with their mouths hanging open. Then, a little girl went up to Mithos. "Um, Mr. Santa sir? Can I tell you what I want now?" Mithos looked down at her and grinned wickedly. "Why certainly little girl. You want to become a lifeless being, don't you?"

"Not really… I just want a pony." The girl said. "Lifeless being it is, then!" Mithos said pulling out a cruxis crystal from his sack and was about to place it on the little girl. "No, Santa, no! I want a PONY!" she yelled tugging on his fake beard. "Grrr, stop it, brat! You will become a lifeless being whether you like it or not!" Mithos snarled. "NOOOO! PONY FOR ME!" the girl yelled giving one giant yank finally pulling off his beard revealing the fake within. Everyone stared for a moment until the girl shouted out in anger. "YOU'RE NOT SANTA! YOUR'E JUST A CRAZY EVIL DOO-DOO HEAD! EVERYBODY, GET HIM!"

All the children suddenly turned demonic and began to charge angrily at Mithos. "Foolish inferior children! My army of angels will kill you before you can reach… AAAAH!" He had just seen the children slaughter all of his angel guards within mere seconds and were running at Mithos chanting "KILL THE DOO-DOO HEAD PRETENDING TO BE SANTA! CUT HIS THROAT! KILL THE DOO-DOO HEAD PRETENDING TO BE SANTA! SPILL HIS BLOOD!"

"Crap, I gotta get outta here!" Mithos yelled spreading out his Cruxis wings in attempt to fly away, but he yelled in pain as he saw the little girl chomping on his leg. "Grr. You have interfered with me for the last time, filthy human!" he yelled summoning a ball of light to strike her, but before he could, the children swarmed him and started beating him to a bloody pulp. Kratos observed this safely on the sidelines. "I suppose I should help him." He took a deep breath and called out. "Hey kids! Look! It's Rudolph the red nosed reindeer!" The children immediately stopped their bloody massacre to look around in excitement. Kratos took that opportunity to grab the bloody form of Mithos and fly away from the mall and the demonic children screaming death threats at Kratos as they found that he had lied about Rudolph.

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BoV- Mwahahahahahahahaha! Chapter 2 is complete! Those evil demonic kids!

Mithos- You're so mean to me…

BoV- Yeah, well you're so mean to the people of the world! So there! (sticks her tongue out) Anyway, I got the angel's song from an episode of invader Zim, and the basic gist of the evil children's chants from William Golding's novel, Lord of the Flies. Scary, scary book. But you should read it! Even if the first part is really boring, it gets good. Anyway, read and review! Mithos' adventures aren't over quite yet!


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